


Beauty in the Darkness

by willworkforgames



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22198732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willworkforgames/pseuds/willworkforgames
Summary: Ben Solo, after disappearing into the Force, internally contemplates his existance as he experiences his new reality in search of the Girl.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 62
Kudos: 105





	1. Kylo Ren

_Kylo Ren_

For A long time I drifted. “I” is the only way I’m able to understand the difference between me and the endless flow. All filled with potential, endless possibility of will or will not. If I hold still long enough I can hear the song. It’s endless, it vibrates through... Me.

I’m connected to all. I drift for so long. I listen to the song. I dream. There is no time. There is no now. The name is the only piece I can hang on to. Kylo Ren. The Name comforts, protects, holds me close - holds me together. The name became armor. It offered a helmet to narrow my focus. I can exist, hold on to the temporal... momentarily. 

The tug, deep in my center — is this  _ warmth _ . It is the only thing holding me together. Like a tether, I know if it was cut I would disappear, but not disappear; I would become one with everything. That is comforting in a way, knowing I would never be a part from the universe, never be alone. 

Right now I’m alone. The tether keeps me. I hate it. 

I could be at peace without it, free. Part of rather than apart. As much as I couldn’t understand what had happened or how, I knew this must have been the reason. I was stuck. Existing. It’s like waiting but you don’t have a concept of time. Just being. 

The only thing I have been able to focus on is the bright light that calls to me. The pull, I now see as a light has a sort of hum, I can almost see it like a light. I’m always aware of it, however, sometimes it’s farther away than others. Being part of the eternal endless flow, but having a string pulling me no matter where I float. At somepoint, I was able to hold more in my temporal center. I built a home, a land. I have visitors, but perhaps they are just part of me. I have no way of knowing. Eventually I live, in a way, in my own little kingdom. 

I now know, I lived once. Perhaps I’m alive now. I no longer float in the vast ocean of oneness. I have ground. I’m able to travel. I watch. The Light still pulls but I no longer hate it. It is the puzzle. Though it keeps me here, I want to understand it. Seeking to understand, gives me purpose. 

I live a life of sorts — I wake, travel, watch. See the galaxy turn, I ask questions when I’m able but my place is not in the temporal galaxy. I am apart. 

I learned how to dream, it always takes me to the girl. I don’t know who she is but she is always first. Sometimes I see her as a child. Sometimes as an old woman. Though that is more blurry. I know her. The girl.


	2. The Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren sits on the throne of lies and assumptions, the Captain loves to point it out.

“You were seen”, he is frustrated, not for the first time. I still don’t understand why I care. Isn’t he just a part of my mind I have manifested to torture myself in the endless sea of unbeing? 

“Captain, it was fine. I was just helping them.” I try not to slouch, but he is glaring at me through his helmet. I can feel it. My voice turns petulant, “You could have come if you wanted to protect me.”

“That’s not how this works, Ki… Kylo.” The Captain stumbles, biting back a word. The puzzle continues, everytime I think I’m in control of this place, this existence, it evades me and creates another puzzle to confuse and frustrate me. The Captain merely shrugs apologetically, he loses his ability to speak in the most inopportune times. 

I stand, slamming my hands on the armrests of my throne. It appeared one day. As I seem to be the center of this place, I am able to build things, adjust as desired, but sometimes things and people show up and I have no understanding how or why. I turn on the Captain, an accusing finger pointing at him. 

“Do you expect me to stay here? This elaborately constructed mind prison? I must find the answer.. Why this happened? Why am I here?” I think about the light, the girl, I have tried to distract myself from them but the hum is ever present, I know it like my own heartbeat. This castle keeps me, the land sustains me but the purpose eludes me. 

The Captain interrupts, clearing his throat, speaking in carefully chosen words, as if trying to not startle me, “I ain’t gonna stop any trip you have to take. I just... want you to be careful.” I can hear the smile under his helmet. 

The Captain’s concern is touching, assuredly, but he knows my strength? I pound my chest near my heart. “I believe I have proven I am indestructible. This armor does not have any gaps.” 

The Captain snickers and rebutts, “All armors got gaps. How else do you take it off?” Before I can respond, the irritating man nods, salutes two fingers and turns to depart. 

“Kylo,” the Captain says, his back facing me. “Life’s full of unexpected turns. Your life more than others. I ain’t gonna lecture you, cause Force knows how well that’s worked for both of us. But I hope you’ll learn to enjoy the ride.” 

The words reverberate with the playful smile beneath his helmet, continuing into a small chuckle as he walks down the stairs and out into the courtyard. As frustrating as this spectre is, it’s nice to not be alone, to have someone willing to advise me. Occasionally offering more than frustrating riddles. 

I close my eyes, my armor, helmet, and chest feeling tight. Something is about to change then? The feeling, I sense it, it’s hum is getting closer again. Perhaps, I will have more than mere moments to protect her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know where this is going now.


	3. The Moment Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren experiences something again for the first time. A little Mitaka Love.

I open my eyes. I am standing in front of a console panel of a Star Destroyer. I know this, I have never been able to remember these things before, why now? I can see my helmet reflected in the black glass of the technical output screen. Do I dare move? How do I know this is real. Perhaps I am now dreaming when I’m awake. 

I feel him in the Force. The anxious man approaching me. 

The voice shaking with fear. “Sir. We were unable to acquire the droid on Jakku.” Jakku, why is that familiar? 

The man continues, “It escaped capture aboard a stolen Corellian YT model freighter.”

Unable to stop the Incredulous sound in my voice I ask, “The droid... stole a freighter?”

“Not exactly, sir. It had help.” Help? Why am I here? Why is this important. I can feel this man, Mitaka, sweat. He is afraid of me.

“We have no confirmation, but we believe FN-2187 may have been helped in the escape — ” His words are stopped as I summon my lightsaber to my hand, turn to the console, slashing glowing scars into the metal and electronics. My body no longer mine, but this person’s. Was this me, is this a memory? I rage on, utterly destroying the wall of blinking lights, the sound of ripping metal, and plastoid drowning out the small whimper from the man Mitaka. 

Slowly the rage leaves, why did I care so much about this droid, and soldier? Why did it matter? Nothing ever matters but the hum, the light and the girl. I turn gently to not scare him any longer, pushing questioning words through labored breaths. “Anything else?”

Through his fear of me Mitaka continues, “The two were accompanied by a girl.” I feel it flare up in my stomach, consuming me, pulsing with the heartbeat and hum. This is it, the girl is here? Before I can attempt to stop my self, my desire to know more and this body’s desire for answers coincide. My gloved hand pulls Mitaka into my grasp, close enough for me to question through gritted teeth, “What girl?”

  
Mitaka gasps out before I let him go. “No one, a scavenger from Jakku.” I drop Mitaka and he crawls backwards to escape, and my shock reflects off the Force that surrounds me, like the Force washing over me, the feelings and memories threaten to drown me. The girl is a scavenger. I knew this, didn’t I? I called her that. I can almost smell her, the dust and sweat mixed with mechanical grease from salvage. The darkness pulls in, pulling me away. I’m close. I can feel it. Please give me more time.  _ Please. _


	4. The Darkness and the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo in Darkness, and when he sees the light.

“No!!!” I scream, nothing echoes, it encounters no resistance to allow a hollow reply. I’m empty again. Drifting. 

Why couldn’t I hold on a little longer... She was alive. I felt her. The girl. The scavenger. 

My Scavenger pulls me, I have the tether. But she is alone, so alone. I grasp to hang on — to hold on to her. Desperate not to lose her again. “I’ll come back for you.” I whisper the promise to myself. But how? I have no way to make this change. I am powerless, awash in a sea of endless time. “Why do you ask the impossible?!” I scream, I kick, I fight but everything resists me. “JUST LET ME DO THIS!” There is no reply. The silence is always mocking, I was so close, and now I’m lost again. Hopeless. 

There is an escape in giving up, it feels easier, but finding peace for a while reminds me of my center. At least I can rest... I just feel the flow. Eventually my body is in synchrony with my mind, I am empty, and thus I let in the movement of the stars take me. The cycle of life and death is like breathing. In and out. Never ending. My place is between them, choosing the light, the hum the girl. 

I am now there. My land. My castle. My center. I just do it, I choose to stand there and be. There's a joy in it, feeling waves of serenity in the Force being one with the movement means I am steady. It’s not control it is the flow of existing in each sweet moment as if it were just one, the past falling away with a gentle acceptance of the future. I can intend on the next, but I must accept what comes, and be. It is the only way I can continue my purpose. Find the truth. Protect the Girl, my scavenger.

“Captain!” I call out walking into the castle. He appears by my side, I feel him calmly turn towards the inner audience chamber.

“Kylo. Welcome home, we have seen some interesting changes.” He walks ahead of me, as if attempting to lead me.

“Interesting, how?” My tone changing to biting, but I follow his lead, entering the antichamber, the doors are wide open. Before the Throne was spotlite by a single light illuminating the darkness. Now it bathes in a massive stained glass window of a scavenger in silhouette. Standing proud in front of twin suns. With a Droid? A BB unit, orange and white.

Why does this place continue to mock me? “The droid and the Scavenger, hardly a masterpiece. It just appeared?” 

“After you left.” I approach the window, taking in the light. I remove my helmet, feeling the air touching my face and allow myself to bathe in the flow of heat filtered through the form presented. I forget everything but the light, the hum and the scavenger. 

After the silence turns awkward, a short cough escapes the Captain, requesting my attention as a controlled curiosity dapples his question. “Where did you go this time?” 

“Hmm?” I pull myself away from the window to face him. He starts, and takes a half step back. I realize I’m not wearing my helmet, and move to put it back on. 

“You can take it off? You don’t need it?” I stare at the Captain, his posture changes to that of a man approaching a wounded animal about to bite him. “You don’t need it.” He repeats, looking at the helmet in my hand. 

I look down at the black and silver I recognize from my time looking in the black mirror of the Star Destroyer console. There are cracks now filled with a yellow that almost glow white, reminding me of sunshine. Perhaps he is right. Hesitating, almost to myself I say, “I don’t remember who I am without it.” With that I turn, and replace my mask. Hoping to know how to take it off again when the time is right. 


	5. Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren sees Jakku for the first time.. again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> simonekerft helps make these words clear. Thank you.

I hear them calling, it’s the nature of being in between. I hear them as they are on the edge. They know they are leaving, joining the Force, they are afraid. They are worried about what it all meant, and where they are going. I hear them. Some are worried about who they are leaving behind, some leave in hate, some leave in pain. I know they are lost.

I hear them. It frustrates me that I don’t remember what happened to me. I should have joined the Force. I know that. But I didn’t. There is no one but shadows and shades, all probably part of this weird reality I exist in. The only truth is the light, the girl. She is the reason I am how I am. I wish I could know more. Find more clues to the endless questioning, the endlessness. What is the point?

They ask that too. That is why I am drawn to them. The dying. Where share the same riddles. If it’s fast, there isn’t much point, but I try to witness, to know they past on. But the slow ones. The suffering, it’s excruciating. Sometimes when I find them they are able to find peace, or dignity or relief. The only thing I can offer to those amongst the living. 

Such is when I find myself on a planet... Jakku, a space battle rages overhead. Jakku, this is where the Scavenger will be someday. I can feel how far away she is, the pull in my center. I was here once. I feel it, the sand, the hum of the planet. Like the Force, it’s self is vigilant of the goings on here. This wasteland planet. The sand has a way of wearing down anything living, a microcosm of the pull towards everyone’s inevitable end. 

I see the Sky is on fire, with laserbolts and explosions. The chaos of impending death, the pointlessness of it. Right now the dunes of Jakku seem peaceful, but I know they will be filled with the skeletons of giants soon. As the Battle continues the screams of those on both sides, making appeals to the force, or their gods to be with them to win. I know how this will end. Everything ends in death.

I can change perspectives now. It’s like seeing the action of this battle and the entropy of the universe at once. The beginning and the end of the conflict. I go to them, as much as my time will allow. I sit with them, so they will not be afraid. I sing when I can remember the words. It reminds me of a lullaby, though who would have sung it for me, I don’t know. I help them be brave, when they seem lost. I have also ended their suffering when they beg. 

If I try to change what the Force intends, it removes me. Flings me back into the abyss. The Force and I now have an understanding, I tolerate what it is trying to say and I don’t serve penance in the forever sea of unbeing. It doesn’t seem to mind me being with them. Ending them early when they have a moment of clarity that helps them move into the force more easily. I didn’t intend to serve this purpose but it helps. Knowing that for all the suffering of the galaxy, I can help them connect with another who will offer them compassion and show that they don’t need to be afraid. That they are the lucky ones who get to be with the force, fulfilling a trancendancy. The Force doesn’t care if you are good or bad. It takes you either way. Death always takes it’s due.

The man I hold now, was a commander for the Empire. I can feel his frustration and sense the betrayal of being told this battle would be easy. That the Empire had the right mandate, it was justified, it should have all worked out. I feel all their pain. The hole that develops in their hearts and worse that stays with them until they die. I try to speak with them, help them understand that it is not their fault that they believed. This man reaches up scared. My visage clothed in black and shadow, hardly comforting to any in a state to accept their passing. I am patient and I hold him. He says in a shaky breath between gasps “It wasn’t.. supposed to... be this way..” I nod, I hold his hand and back. I rock him like a parent holding their child. All these forgotten souls are my children. For who, that witnesses such suffering can’t love them unconditionally. 


	6. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo, the girl, and the monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always simonekerft

Warmth. The smell of something familiar. The bright radiance of the sun warming my skin and permeating my eyelids. I feel my arms around a soft but muscular frame. Breathing in and out with the harmonic sympathetic union of our lifesource. It’s her, the girl. In this moment we are one. I calm my mind in an effort to stay here, I must not open my eyes. If I force something, I may leave, I may change this moment. This moment can last forever if I allow myself to just be. Curiosity invades my mind, needling, the need to know more. Where I am? What has brought me here? How can I come back if required? 

The increase in my awareness allows me to understand her positioning without moving. We are entangled, limbs, fingers, hair, hearts, as if made one,wrapped and encircled in sheets. I attempt to open my eyes, praying that this won’t pull me away. The light from the sun is blinding. A streak of the burning rays illuminates my face, stinging my eyes. I snap them closed, now fully aware of the black and stinging reality of its light. Unable to control myself in the dichotomy of pain and pleasure, a small moan leaves my sealed lips. 

My breath traps in my throat, she stills and moves slightly. I become aware that she was grasping my bicep as her hand slides over my shirtless skin. She shifts, and on her cue, I open my eyes, dodging the suns focus and finally I see her. Backlight from wherever the sun is peaking into our shared moment of peace. I see her eyes. I remember them now. Clear, wide and full of hope, she looks down at me, her hair isolating us momentarily from our surroundings. It’s just us. I feel my smile, my heart expanding and growing under her gaze. 

“Hello there…” Her voice is pure, and husky in the moment. I remember it now. The sound of her voice. How I would challenge her just to hear her yell at me. That can’t be right, why would I ever do anything but worship at the sight of her? I raise my arm, feeling it tingle as blood rushes back to areas she must have been sleeping on. I brush the side of her hair which is loose around her face. Have I ever seen her hair this way? Perhaps it is longer? I don’t remember seeing it quite this way. I know now we have a history, we had a past. A time before this. She isn’t just some tower of light I am meant to endlessly strive towards in search of meaning. I had held her before. I have a feeling of unease starting in my stomach - roll over my body. This is different. This isn’t the dreams I normally have. 

The rhythm of dreams and awake was how I found a cadence to exist. I find the most joy in the dreams of her. As much as they stab creating a hole where I once saw her, knowing briefly I was able to be with her. The pain of being away burns like a hole in my center. It radiates with a sharpness that never feels like it will heal. It reminds me I exist. 

I suffer for these wounds to be with her, everytime. She is always in the distance or next to me, never with me. We are always apart. The dreams in this form are a limited blessing but they are always dreams. Never before has she spoken, never before has she touched me. At least not in dreams. The edge of something is there... She took my hand. 

She smiles and leans her cheek into my outstretched palm, her face easily cradled in my hand. The world rights itself. It’s like a puzzle piece that was missing from the picture I never knew existed. I dare not move. She closes her eyes. I memorize every aspect of her face, not knowing how long I have. It’s solid and clear. Is she her with me? Or am I with her? This is unlike before… “Stay.” My voice low, pleading and guttural.

The girl smiles gently in response, replying by reaching her small hand up to place it on mine, gently pushing my palm to cup her face tighter. Like I’m surrounded by her, held by that simple movement. “What could take me away?” Her voice searing into my heart. 

The light coming from somewhere eclipses, casting shadows through the room. Making her face obscured. A rumble from outside our shared space approaches, my instincts on high alert. She is in danger! Frozen I watch her pull away, prepared to fight, calling her sword to her hand a bright yellow glow erupting from the hilt, she turns to face the noise. Her voice fierce to start, turns wavering, “I can protect you… I can… I will...” 

The rumbling threatens forward, a snarl layering on. The growing inescapable vibration resonating from all sides, but focused overhead. She looks up preparing to defend. The world collapses as the walls, and roof of this place, separating her from me. My arm flies to my face to protect my eyes. I am in darkness again. I am alone. 


	7. The Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monsters and Butterflies

I feel the familiar sensation of floating in the vastness of the force. I open my eyes, seeing a blue familiar sky of clouds pre-naturally blue in front of a sky filled with stars. As if I can see both the illusion of sky created by the atmosphere and the vastness of space at the same time. I am both here and in eternity. I rock slightly with a steady rhythm. This is my land, I’m back. I attempt to move and find myself floating in reflective water. Drifting longer, attempting to make sense of the lack of control feel. Was I always like this? Did I rail against being trapped? Or was I just another puppet of the universe's cruelty. Did I ever make any choice that was mine? Perhaps I’m only now aware of how little control I have. 

I look around. A speck of incandescent orange light floated into view, my eyes follow to see more sparks drifting into view. The waft of burning driving me to turn in the water. I see it now, rising from the lake I float in, a hill and temple. Burning. I scream “NO!” I realize this feeling of horror and shock is because this was my home, at least at one time. I attempt to scramble to the shore. This was real, it has the answers. The temple. With that realization the flickering fires slow to the point of looking like a painting. The smell of burning humanoid flesh still penetrating my helmet. Like no matter how much armor I have the horror of this loss of life can not be stopped. I stumble forward, looking at the Tableau before me. What could have caused this? Children, men, women, students all laying burnt amongst the ruins. I focus my gaze on a collapsed outbuilding. I see him. The Monster. Crawling out of the ruins. 

My breathing turns into snarls, my armor exploding into fury. I am rage. The monster crawls towards the churning heat, cloaked with deceit. A lone droid sits documenting the tragedy. 

I crawl stomping towards him, I am a hunter. I will hunt this Jedi. He is to blame for who I am. As I see myself reflected in the water I am a man no longer but a beast. Black fur and red eyes the colors that trap and comfort me. My mouth is filled with saliva, the hate boiling over into hunger for what has been denied me. I lick my mouth feeling my fangs, satisfied I am not without weapons. The monster man kneels clutching the droid - watching everything burn, in turn, I burn. Every muscle wanting to devour him. I reach the shore, my feet and hands, scraping and clawing my large frame through the muck and silt. He doesn’t see me. 

This will be quick, I will end him, I will be free. The breeze blowing the sparks of the raging fires into the man suddenly shifts. I step forward, crouching, preparing to strike. A glowing butterfly, blue, the color of hope drifts into view. The man holds out his hand to allow it to rest. I see his face. The Blue eyes brighten in the glow of the butterfly. He sees me. I am filled with fear. 

Do I fight this monster man? Or run? The Butterfly flitters as if insisting on drawing the man’s attention. I hear it, the tenor of the monster. “He is trapped… This is all my fault.” It is his fault, that’s right, but monsters aren’t supposed to admit that they are wrong. They destroy, consumed by hate and desire. My heart skips, as this crouching pitiable looking man whispers gently to the incomprehensibly delicate butterfly, “Mother, please help him…” 

Mother. I am falling again. Darkness closing in. My Mother. Where is she? 


	8. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light, hope, and a drink.

I’m in the dark, damp sub-level to my castle. I can tell from the moment I materialize. The sickly air from too much moisture and not enough air movement. I hear a door open above, a light creeps down to illuminate me. I flex my hand to cover my eyes, the pain of the sudden exposure stinging. My hand has returned to normal. 

No matter how hard I try to control what is happening or how it happens, it feels like that is a backlash any time I fight. “I feel so helpless”.

“What are you stuck or something?” A gruff and mildly amused voice from the door comments on my state. The Captain. I hate being embarrassed in front of him. 

“No, but somehow I ended up here… again. Which feels like no progress has been made.” 

There is a laugh from up the damp and slippery stone steps. “We are all frustrated with this trust me. But being patient with yourself is all that matters. Come up here and tell me where you went this time. I’ll get you a drink.” Leveraging myself up from the wall, I put one foot in front of the other, slowly knowing every step up towards the light could make me slip and fall but down to the cold darkness below. I hear off in the distance, “Do we still have that bottle of Port-in-the-storm? I thought it was in the cabinet.”

“I think it’s in the decanter from last time you were frustrated with me.” 

“I’m surprised we have any left then.” I heard a mumble. I smile beneath my mask. The grumpy grizzled voice, a balm to my wounds. The climb becomes easier as I approach the light at the top of the stairs, it’s clear which steps pose a danger now. I glance behind me, the darkness waits hungrily in its desire to swallow me again. I turn back towards the light, announcing my arrival “Those stairs become trickier each time I end back down there.”

The Captain laughs under his breath, placing two golden cups down on the side table holding a crystal decanter. “I used to worry about you when you fell into the darkness like that. But you would always see the light. Now I know your way. I’m glad.” He finishes pouring the drink and offers me a cup. 

I look to the cup of dark liquid and reach up to remove my helmet. The Captain hands me the cup and does the same. A lined face with hazel eyes greets me. The silver hair, dark eyebrows, and half-smirk as he reaches for his own cup. “Cheers”. Our golden cups flash in the light, a metallic clink that reminds me of this man standing in front of me. I sip from the small glass. The Port-in-the-Storm is powerful but I don’t feel like it will kill me. I glance over the edge of the cup as I lower it. The hazel eyes staring at me, perhaps hoping I don’t recognize the look of anguish. The Captain's face seems to shattered in pain, the moment our eyes meet. I recognize his face of course. Perhaps it had washed away like so many things, in the endless existence I experience now. I slowly pull the cup away from my lips. 

“Captain, do you remember things?” He stiffens at this question, I see his face attempt to hide the layers of pain, concern, and confusion. 

Turning and putting his cup down, he clears his throat. “Things?” He reaches for his helmet on the side table. I walk closer as if he were about to startle. 

Gently I touch his shoulder. “I would like to remember, my mother, do you know her?” The Captain freezes.

“I remember your mother.” His voice sad, his face turning for me to see him, something like hope gently residing in his eyes.

My hand tightens on his shoulder, desperate for something to hold on to. “I need to go home.” 

The Captain’s lower lip quivers slightly, as if he wants to cry, gulping back the feelings on the surface reassured, he smiles his crooked grin and chuckles. “Let me show you how.”


	9. The Eclipse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where it happened.

Dust swirls around my boots as I stomp on the ground of the dead world. The very air feels familiar, the sky is frozen in an endless eclipse, held as if I moved through a painting or a holo rather than reality. Off in the distance, a large black structure looms. The Captain’s directions were clear. I could attempt to control the endless fragmented movement and dreamscape wanderings if I was willing to face what happened to me. Then I could see my mother. It would be some control in this endless sea of uncertainty. Like the Girl. Something, anything, to hold onto. 

The Girl. Where is she. Could I perhaps attempt to see her too? Find her. The Captain had never been so forthcoming until I had mentioned my mothers. This must be the path he feels I must go on. If this works perhaps there is hope after all. I swallow that thought, needing to focus on where I was. 

Only when I approach a monolith, black-walled structure. I had been here before, that sense was clear. There was something more, a lingering sense of her like her energy was too powerful to not leave an impression. The girl. The memory of her determination to delve deeply into this hellscape. Willing to do whatever was required to save the galaxy. The Galaxy always seems to be on the edge of destruction. She shouldn’t have needed to be responsible for this. I tried to protect her, help her. She is my home. I sense the pulse. 

Treading into the darkness and descending through the broken statues and columns - I see the waves of destruction. This labyrinth is easily navigated with her energy calling me. Through the science labs and into the audience chamber, the pulse of her life that was here. I see it all playing in front of me. Her battle, my failed attempt to protect her. I drop to my knees, crawling forward to where we were. I held her. Gave everything I had. It was too much, I was already too far gone. She came back to me. I held on as long as I could, she held me and smiled. I was filled with warmth. “Ben.” I can hear it echoing off the walls. She holds me, I can barely hold myself upright. She leans in, I remember her kiss. The soft push of her lips. I love her, everything I did was for her. At least, I was able to do one thing for her. She would live. I feel myself slipping, draining, dropping. Then I go cold. I can’t see anything after that. 

I am empty. 

The building emptiness gives way for a black angry scar in the energy that dominates the space. The light from her energy being covered but the dark tendrils flowing from the break in the force. Something broke here. A tentacle snaps towards my foot, another towards my arm. I dig in my heels fighting against the pull. Drawing me into the darkness. I turn back to where I was last with her. The light fading from the areas and with it my hope.

**Author's Note:**

> People have really liked this. I'm going to write more.


End file.
